Having the ‘DTR’ Via Facebook: How Facebook Changed Relationships

Remember back in the day when a man sat a woman down and asked if she’d be his girlfriend? Of course, the question has changed over the years, ‘go steady,’ ‘go out,’ ‘be exclusive,’ but the underlying delivery was always the same.

Well, it’s clear to see that social media has changed this in so many ways. Nowadays relationships aren’t official until they’re official on Facebook. If a friend tells me things are getting serious with a guy she’s dating, I don’t buy it until they have declared it on Facebook via their relationship status.

Facebook has become the delivery style for people having the ole’ DTR too. Since I had to explain DTR to a coworker, I feel obliged to fill in the other dinosaurs out there. According to the Urban Dictionary, “Define The Relationship’ is when two people discuss their mutual understanding of a romantic relationship (casual dating, serious boyfriend, etc). As used in a sentence, ‘Have you DTR'ed yet?’ or ‘I dunno what we are. I guess we gotta do a little DTR'ing tonight.”

People are going to the Internet more and more for everyday things. Online shopping, emailing, reading the news, all these things are now commonly carried out over the Internet. It’s only natural that courting would eventually happen there as well. People meet on Internet dating sites, as well as Facebook, and begin a courtship all the time. Now people are even DTR’ing on Facebook.

Have you ever received an email from Facebook like this?

“Subject: Please confirm your relationship with John Doe

John has updated his relationship status to say that you two are in a relationship.

Please confirm this relationship status:
http://www.facebook.com/……

Once confirmed, this information will appear on both of your profiles.

Thanks,
The Facebook Team”

That’s how it all starts.  One day, status-less, the next day your friends think you and John Doe are the real deal because you’re in a Facebook relationship.

With everything on the Internet, the convenience factor is nice, but the Facebook DTR neglects the human factor. This is ever so blatant when you go to remove your relationship status. If you’re linked to your significant other, Facebook makes you click a link called ‘Cancel Relationship.’ Ouch. If that isn’t hard enough, if your privacy settings aren’t on lockdown, all your friends will be broadcasted your failed relationship in the News Feed, “Jane and Joe ended their relationship.” Double ouch.

Facebook and other social media sites have become such an inherent part of people’s lives and this is a great example. Social media is not only shaping the way people get the news and stay current on friend’s lives, it’s also shaping important events in people’s personal lives. Let’s just hope Facebook doesn’t create an application to post an engagement ring on someone’s wall and have that serve as the ultimate DTR. No thank you, Facebook.